


a cat out of hell

by thekuroiookami



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Crack, Dante being sassy, Everything is better with cats, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Just Add Kittens, Kyrie and Nico go shopping, Sass everywhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-25 15:19:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18577150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekuroiookami/pseuds/thekuroiookami
Summary: A serious conversation takes an unexpected turn when Vergil finds something that scares him.





	a cat out of hell

When Dante finally strolled into the cafe, he found Nero reading with furious concentration. The boy was so intent on the book he didn't notice Dante drop into the chair next to him.

 

"Kid, unless there's chicks with no clothes in there, there's no need to burn the pages off."

 

Nero startled, jostling the table and all delicate glasses on it. The book jumped out of his grasp. Nero fumbled for it, blushing slightly when it settled back in his grasp. 

 

Dante smiled to himself when he noticed the large V on the leather binding.

 

"So, why'd you insist on meeting in this fancy china place? I'd take a bar with low lighting and leather seats over this frippery any day." 

 

Dante waved a hand to indicate the ivory-hued, lacy decor of the cafe. Sparda, what was this fad with French windows? It was practically blinding him, the sunlight.

 

Nero cleared his throat and jabbed a thumb in the direction of the door. "I'm waiting here while the girls shop. It's just easier."

 

"You are thoroughly whipped, son."

 

"Whipped, but not alone."

 

Dante tilted his head in acknowledgement. "So this job Morrison was telling me about-"

 

"M-may I get you anything?" A waitress clasped her hands together, glancing about at the table where Dante's huge sword, and Nero's smaller, but still respectably large sword were leaning. He quirked his mouth up at her.

 

"Do you do coffee? The really strong kind." She nodded, waited for Nero to shrug, and then hurried away.

 

"What were you saying?" Nero asked, absently tracing the edge of the book.

 

"It's big job, could take a while. Something is stirring down there, and it ain't the friendly kind."

 

Nero frowned. "How long do I have to think about it?"

 

"Not long. Couple of days?"

 

"Dante. I could hear your incompetence all the way across the square." Vergil's voice slicked across the space between them like oil on water.

 

"Hello to you, big brother, I'm totally fine, thanks for asking." Dante slouched back and feigned a bored look.

 

Vergil sat down elegantly, one foot over a knee, katana draped over his lap. "Is this how weak you are now, that you must summon me and the young one to do your work?"

 

"The young one is of drinking age," Nero grumbled. "Have been for a while."

 

Vergil cast him a glance that seemed almost amused. "Age isn't always measured in years, boy."

 

"For the love of- I have a name. It's Nero. Use your words, both of you."

 

"Like I was saying," Dante continued, staunchly ignoring an annoyed Nero, "whatever is waking up is large, has lots of teeth, and no qualms about using 'em. It's gonna need more than one of us. Also, I have somewhere else I need to be."

 

The waitress chose this moment to set a cup of dark brew in front of him. Dante inhaled the smoky aroma gratefully and took a sip, promptly wincing when it burned his tongue. 

 

Nero was staring at him in disbelief. "So you're telling this potentially world-ending - is it world-ending?"

 

"Almost certainly," Dante nodded and sipped again.

 

"An apocalyptic, badass demon is rising, and you, the adrenaline junkie of the ages, decided to delegate to the brother you hate?"

 

"Sounds about right. Look, if you're too scared, just say so. But Vergil hasn't objected. Vergil?"

 

He turned to see Vergil frozen in a state of preternatural stillness. He automatically tensed in preparation for the threat, hand moving to the hilt of his sword. Then-

 

"Dante," Vergil bit out, dangerously soft, "get it off me."

 

Dante blinked at the sight. A pair of round, green eyes blinked back from under tufted white ears. The cat quickly lost interest and went back to settling into his brother's lap, purring.

 

"I think it likes you," said Nero helpfully.

 

"Well, I do not reciprocate the feeling. Get. It. Off."

 

Dante folded his arms and leaned back, grinning. "Nah. I think I'm just gonna sit here and watch as the mighty Vergil is finally slain by a kitten."

 

Nero took a big gulp of water to hide his smile. 

 

"I'm not going to say it twice. Remove the...tiny bundle of fur."

 

"What happened to the big, strong, king of hell? If you want the cat gone, pick it up yourself." The only thing that could have made this day better was if Nico showed up with a camera to capture this moment.

 

"It's harmless," Nero offered.

 

Dante could have sworn he saw Vergil swallow in trepidation, but there was no way to tell under that collar. Damn, his brother dressed like a self-important jackass, too.

 

"I know it's harmless," he said finally. "That is why I...I can't."

 

Nero raised his eyebrow. "Okay?"

 

Then, to Dante's eternal disappointment, he set the book down on the table, leaned over, and picked up the kitten. It flailed a moment in surprise, but seemed pleased to climb Nero's shoulder and paw at his ear. He sat back down in amused resignation as it proceeded to perch on this head.

 

"You breathing now, fearsome one?" Dante waggled his eyebrows at Vergil.

 

His brother looked stoically into the distance. "Just get back to the part where you explain why this isn't a complete waste of my time."

 

"What, like you have better things to do?"

 

"Yeah..." Nero tipped his head quizzically, and the kitten mimicked him. They both blinked at Vergil with guileless eyes. "What do you do these days?"

 

It would have taken a stronger man than Dante to lie in the face of that sight, and Vergil, as everyone knew, was clearly not that man. So obviously he was taken aback.

 

"I, well...I read?"

 

Nero leaned forward a little, the furball still crowning him. "Read what?"

 

"A bit of everything. I've been away a while...there is a lot to catch up on."

 

The kid gently set the inquisitive kitten on the table. "Yeah."

 

Dante set the cup back in the saucer with a rattle. "Look, are you two in or not?"

 

Vergil lifted his chin haughtily. "I refuse. This is beneath me."

 

"Yeah, well, it's in hell, dumbass, of course it's beneath you."

 

Nero shrugged and rubbed a fingertip between the critter's ears. "If the world is going to end, I have to."

 

Dante scowled at Vergil, who looked at him with a bored expression. He wanted to pick up the table and beat his mulish brother over the head with it, but the damn cat was still on it.

 

Wait. 

_ Cat? _

 

Dante smirked. "Here, little fella."

 

The kitten didn't take much coaxing before it pooled its small body in Dante's much larger hands. He could feel its fragile heartbeat under his thumb.

 

"Hey, Vergil."

 

The man in question stared at the floral wallpaper like it held the secrets to unlimited power.

 

Dante hovered the cat near Vergil's face. His brother went from calm to cataclysmic fear in seconds. "If you don't take the job, Vergil, you're going to have a real close encounter with this guy."

 

Vergil's eyes went icy with fury. "You wouldn't."

 

"I would, 100%." A cute meow punctuated his statement.

 

Vergil looked between the pink paw trying to swat his nose and Dante's take-no-prisoners attitude. His voice was low when he spoke. "Why do you insist on me going when we both know the boy is more than capable?"

 

Dante paused. "Because," he said quietly, "like you said, he's still young."

 

His brother's eyes widened briefly. Dante sat down, absent-mindedly petting plush fur. Vergil looked at Nero with the same wary countenance he'd reserved for the cat. Then he finally noticed the book on the table and his iciness fractured. Not enough for other people to notice, but Dante had watched his giveaways long enough to know.

 

"Fine, I'll go decimate this thing. Maybe he'll learn something from the process." 

 

Nero looked up at the announcement. "Me?"

 

"Alright!" Dante slung his sword and stood, stretching his arms out. "Don't miss me too much on your camping trip now."

 

"Hmph." Vergil flicked his coat out and slinked away. "I'll see you tomorrow, Nero."

 

Dante threw the bewildered kid a wink and started walking. "Have fun, little demon."

 

Nero gazed at them as they left, somehow not surprised. He sighed and held a hand out to the kitten. "Come on, let's get you home."

 


End file.
